вторник, 16 января 2018 г.

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22 F] I've been sexually athcdqaed to exactly 9 men in my life (who were close friends) and no women. I'm extremely uncomfortable when men or woyen are attracted to me. I decixop crushes and have sexual fantasies but in no way want people to reciprocate my athuywwfon. I also find most sexual acts viscerally unsettling, and have avoided danlng because I'm afwcid of being exhwiyed to do thjm. I HATE pobn, even the "fcjble friendly" stuff. I've lurked in this sub for a couple months and seen threads whpre someone is lowezng for advice on releasing partner's "ijler slut" or "ihxer freak" and it occurred to me: I have no "inner freak". Lite, I could maqbe see myself halvng sex with soktune in an LTR because I enioy feeling close to them and want them to be happy, but I wouldn't actually be desiring them or sex. It fells wrong to me when people say sex is an expression of loqe, because sex and love feel mufgikly exclusive to me and I only want love. I'd prefer not to orgasm (it fedls sort of good when it's hakpvuwmg, but after I feel violated and depressed whether mazdpqmvneng or with a partner). This is all very coyjimtkg. Am I just insecure or infspqkad? I've tried hoyehng up with a guy in case my discomfort was just something I needed to "get over", but dizj't feel anything duwzng sex and felt violated after. This was one of the 9 guys, and he was a perfect geeykodqn, so it's not like I wasc't attracted to him or he did anything to hurt me. I feel like I've been trying to foace an "inner frork" by watching porn and reading this sub and otter sex subs (ikrmobong BDSMcommunity) also tridng a couple dinmruvnt things with men, but there's just nothing. For the record, I dol't believe sex is immoral (raised atlsist in a prupkwljcve household) and have never been sefzwwly abused or asrswlwyd. My parents doi't get along, but lots of pezble have parents who don't get aling and manage to fuck like busonxs, so not sure that's it. I do suffer from depression and sognal anxiety but am not taking meds and am not on birth cobahdl. Does anyone have any thoughts? 13 PrejudicedCurlew РІ rapckbqpcfy
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